Mending Wall
by BeMyOwnMarvel
Summary: Different take on Stefan and Bonnie in Season 4. Stefan had been so focused on whether or not he was failing Elena, he didn't realize he had been failing his friend all along. Stefonnie friendship with other characters' views interspersed.
1. Chapter 1

The room had blurred into a light haze hours ago. She had no idea what time it was or how long she'd been lying there - not that knowing would have motivated her to move. There was a part of her that wished that she could just sink into the couch completely, that the floor would crack open under her and she could just fall into oblivion.

It terrified her that this part of her existed.

Her morbid thoughts of Grams and Hell and nothingness were interrupted by a knock at the door. It occurred to her in a fleeting thought jumbled into her gloom that it was Stefan's voice calling her name. Her fingers tightened around her blanket.

"Bonnie, I know you're in there. I can hear you breathing." No response. "Bonnie, please. It's important."

Sighing, and with far greater effort than she anticipated would be necessary, she pulled off the blanket and pushed herself off the couch, dragging her feet in tenuous steps toward her door. She spotted Stefan with one hand in his pocket and the other leaning against the door frame, poised as self-assured as always, and stopped to brace herself so that she wouldn't break down in front of him. Her resolve faltered as soon as she opened the door. Stefan opened his mouth to tell her what was going on, pausing when he saw an expression of numb despair on Bonnie's face. "Hey," his hands dropped to his sides. "Are you alright?" Concern washed over his face as he moved to approach her, only to find that he couldn't enter. It was Sheila's house he'd been invited into, not Bonnie's. "Can I come in, please?" he asked gently.

Bonnie gave the slightest nod, but it was enough. Her face morphed as tears overtook her, and Stefan pulled her into his arms.

* * *

Several minutes later, she had composed herself and pulled away, giving him a weak smile before averting her gaze. She turned to the living room, Stefan following close behind. She reclaimed her spot on the couch as Stefan sat on the arm of the chair opposite from her, listening intently while she told him all that had occurred with her Grams and the witches.

"My Grams, it was like she was dying all over again. Just because I didn't listen to her about not doing black magic."

"Bonnie, you're dealing with the other side. It's not reliable. The witches were probably just messing with your head, trying to teach you a lesson."

"Well, it worked. I tried to do a basic nature spell this morning just to clear my head and...it just brought it all back. Like it was happening all over again." Stefan frowned slightly. "Sorry, I'm a mess. I've been holed up in here, avoiding everyone. I've completely," she added with a forced chuckle, "blown off Jamie." She halted to keep herself together, taking a sharp breath to compose herself. "You came here...'cause you needed something, right?"

Stefan shook his head as he stood up. "Yeah, but it can wait."

"No, come on, Stefan, I'm okay. Come on, you're not exactly a drop-by kind of guy. Just...if something's wrong, tell me." She looked at him imploringly. Somehow, she felt like she _needed_ to help. For so long, even since before she became a witch, helping seemed to be her whole purpose, and she didn't know what she'd do with herself if she no longer had that role.

"Bonnie, right now, _this_ is what's wrong. God..." Stefan turned, running his hands through his hair in frustration before turning back to her. He stared at Bonnie searchingly for a few moments.

"What, Stefan?"

He sighed before taking a seat next to her on the couch, looking at her head-on as he spoke. "When I first came back to Mystic Falls...When Elena and I got together and you and I got to know each other...I began to consider you as my friend. I admired you...the way you put others first, the selflessness you'd display, even in - in the simplest of interactions. And then you found out you were a witch, and I'd never seen such potential in a witch so new to the craft. You always had some level of doubt in yourself, but one thing you unflinchingly never doubted was how ready you were to protect the ones you care about.

"I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line, it became second nature. You had learned more than other witches in your position would have in such a short time, and we started to take it for granted. It was wrong and it was unfair. You deserve better than that. And then...with Abby..." Stefan felt Bonnie tense next to him.

"With Abby...Bonnie, there is absolutely nothing that I can fathom that justifies what we did. Just because my brother and I both happen to love Elena doesn't mean the lives of others are worth any less, and you and Abby are certainly no exception. I was blinded by this obsession. And Damon was...well, Damon. I don't know how I can make this better. I want to - so, so much - but I don't know..." His words failed him and Bonnie saw his desolation all over his face. He looked down at his hands in silence.

Bonnie took a breath. "You know, until last year's decade dance when Klaus first showed up, I thought I could never expect any better from Damon. But then he helped me, when he didn't have to. He trusted me to do what I thought was right rather than choosing for me. And somewhere along the way, I thought maybe, eventually, I could trust him, as just a little more than just an ally. You...you were my friend right from the beginning." Stefan smiled at her. "And then Damon snapped Abby's neck." Stefan's smile faded. "And you helped him. Stefan, I...I could still understand that I was wrong to think Damon could ever change or that he'd ever care for anyone besides himself, you, and Elena. But you..." Bonnie's voice shook. "Stefan, you were my friend. How could _you_ do that to me? What if Abby wasn't there? Would you have killed me? Would you have let Damon do it? Is it that...that easy to dismiss me as just some...some tool or - or some weapon you can just use and toss? Do I mean that little?" The tears were in full force now, and even Stefan's eyes were misty. "Was I that wrong about you, Stefan?" She looked at him questioningly before standing up and putting a few feet between them, wiping furiously at her face. Silence took them both over again.

Stefan turned his face to her. "You have never been wrong, Bonnie. You trusted me when I gave you a reason to. I lost the right to your trust when I lost myself." He stood. "But I could never dream of physically harming you. I'm going to be better now. I swear." He took a step toward her. "I'm in love with Elena. That's never going to change. But that doesn't mean that I can forget about everyone else, or that I can think of everyone else only in terms of what they mean to her. I've done a lot of things I regret in my lifetime, but two of the worst ones were within the past few months. One was not pulling her out of the water along with Matt. The other was hurting you and taking you for granted. With Elena and Matt, there was only so much I could do, and I can make up for that by helping her now. But with you, there was so much more I could have done. And now," Stefan placed his hands on her shoulders. Bonnie crossed her arms defensively. "Now, I'll wait as long as necessary, do whatever I have to, to get my friend Bonnie back. Because believe it or not, even though I've done a phenomenally horrible job of showing it, I love you, too." Bonnie's lip trembled. "So I don't want your trust or your respect until I've absolutely, undoubtedly earned it." Stefan wrapped his arms around her shoulders, her arms still crossed, and squeezed one last time. "You should get some rest." He pulled away and offered a smile before turning to leave. He closed the door behind him, the bullets in his pocket momentarily forgotten as he thought of the girl behind him inside.

Bonnie stood alone in her living room, eyeing the couch as she contemplated resuming her earlier prone position under the blanket. After some deliberation, she approached the couch, folded the quilt, and straightened the pillows. Settling down at her kitchen table minutes later looking out the window, she sipped her coffee as she thought of the boy who just left.


	2. Chapter 2

She leaned against the wall next to Elena's front door as she watched her friend try to explain herself to Damon. Bonnie was waiting to get Elena alone to talk about what had transpired at the party. Caroline hadn't been like this with Stefan's guidance. Tyler had help controlling his urges from Caroline. Elena was surrounded by people trying to help her, and yet she had lost all control tonight thanks to the creep she was now trying to mollify. She had drowned out their conversation, wading in her own thoughts, and when Stefan opened the door, Bonnie continued to try to stay out of their talk.

It was okay. They weren't really paying attention to her, anyway.

"I don't think I'm gonna survive this," she heard Elena cry.

"Hey, yes you will," Stefan responded, pulling her into his arms. "You just have to hold on."

After a minute, Elena pulled back. "I think I'm just gonna turn in and pretend today didn't happen." Stefan nodded in support, knowing she wanted to be alone. Before crossing the threshold, Elena noticed Bonnie standing in silence. "Bonnie-"

"Elena." Elena stopped, desperation washing over her face over Bonnie's interruption. "Go to bed. We'll talk in the morning." Seeing her friend trying and failing to conceal her disappointment, Bonnie gave a weak, half-hearted smile in an effort to assure her they were - barely - okay. Elena disappeared into the house. Bonnie turned her gaze to Stefan and sighed.

"So," he began, "how bad was it?" Bonnie shook her head in an unsuccessful attempt to rid herself of the image of a beastly Elena draining her unsuspecting dance partner.

"Bad." She walked to the driveway to her car that she'd left there that morning. Stefan fell into step with her. "You know, I thought Damon was trying to turn her into himself. I was wrong." Stefan looked at her questioningly. She stopped when they reached her car and turned to him. "He's trying to turn her into Katherine. Into the girl he was hoping Katherine would be. It's like he's taken that - that idealized image he has in his head of the girl he'd been waiting for for 145 years and he's trying to fill in the gaps where Elena and his...dream girl or something...differ. Do I really need to tell you how much I _do not_ trust him?"

Frustration flooded Stefan as his shook his head in response. She crossed her arms. "Why weren't _you _there? Why Damon?"

"He has better control than I do. I'm still working on that. Elena thinks Caroline is too good at control and her expectations are too high for Elena to live up to. Who else is left to help her?"

"Hmmm. You don't like that one bit, do you?"

He chuckled. "What gave it away?"

"Well, I don't think you have anything to worry about. She wanted you with her tonight, not him. For what it's worth, I'm rooting for you." She opened her car door and got in.

"Even after...everything?"

She looked him in the eye. "Yes, Stefan. Even after everything. So don't make me regret it." She closed her door.

A warm smile spread across his face as he nodded. "Sorry, Bonnie," he said after she rolled down her window. "I didn't realize, with Elena and Damon coming along, how much potential there was for it to ruin your trip." He leaned against the car. "How are you doing?"

"Well," she replied, smirking, "the trip had its moments. I think I'll be okay." His brows furrowed slightly in confusion while she pulled out of Elena's driveway. Her mind turned to thoughts of a charming dark-haired professor as she waved goodbye.

* * *

They lost Elena. The Salvatore brothers, hopelessly in love with the hallucinating doppelganger, lost her.

"How does Klaus even know about this?"

"How does Klaus know about anything? The guy's like a billion years old."

"He said it was a witch's curse." Stefan looked pointedly at her.

"You know, if I could do anything, I would, but I-"

"But nothing," Damon interjected with his usual snark, approaching her. "Just wave your magic wand. Hocus Pocus, be gone, hunter, ghostess, whatever."

Stefan pushed his brother back. "Okay, Damon, just back off for a second, alright? Bonnie, we just need to know if you know anything about this. Or point us in the right direction?"

"'Point us in the...' What? No, look Witchy, you need to figure this out and help us fix it, or Elena-"

"Damon, just shut up, okay?" Stefan stepped in front of his glaring brother, making a barricade between him and Bonnie, who was now glaring with equal contempt. "Bonnie? Do you know anything about this?"

Her gaze softened as she looked at the younger Salvatore. He was asking her. Not telling her. Asking.

"The spirits won't let me do the magic I need to break the curse. But I can ask Shane for help. He knows everything about...everything." She shrugged.

"Shane? The professor you went to see at Whitmore?"

"Yeah, Professor Creepy."

"It's _Shane_. And yes, him."

Stefan thought for a split second. "Well, if you think you can trust him, great. You two do your thing." He made to leave the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna get her back." He stopped in the foyer. "Damon, a word, please?"

Damon grudgingly obliged. "What?"

"Stop giving her a hard time," Stefan spoke in a lowered tone, indicating Bonnie.

"Who, Glinda the good witch? What good is she if she won't help?"

"We don't own her, Damon. Just because she's not Elena doesn't mean she's not entitled to a little respect. We owe her, so back off. The spirits are making her pay a pretty hefty price for helping us _all the time_. They're punishing her enough without us adding to it."

Damon glanced at Bonnie, who was on her phone, apparently talking to the strange professor. He knew Stefan was right; he'd known they'd been taking advantage of Bonnie for a long time, but he'd always found a way to justify it to himself, even if he knew it was wrong. He'd be damned if he ever admitted it, though. "Fine, but I make no promises. The commentary is just part of my charm."

Stefan shook his head softly as he left the house. Damon frowned for a second before turning to the kitchen. Resetting his 'jerk' face, he smirked at Bonnie, who was now off the phone. "So what does the good professor say?"

* * *

"How did I not know any of this stuff about Jeremy?" Bonnie demanded as she shook the file in Damon's face.

He put his hands up in defense. "The witch who loses her powers gets left out of the important conversations." The indignant look on her face made him rethink his words. _Perhaps that last bit was a little uncalled for..._

"Is everything okay?" Jeremy rushed into the occult exhibit where they stood. "Is it Elena?"

"We figured out how to help her." Bonnie's seemingly calm tone suggested a solid effort to repress her anger at the ass she'd felt forced to collaborate with. "You need to kill a vampire."

Jeremy looked between the two. He'd heard that tone from Bonnie before, and it didn't take a genius to know Damon had made a typically infuriating Damon-like statement. Jeremy had taken her home after Elena completed her transition. She'd avoided him ever since whenever he tried to check on her, and he didn't want to see her go back to that place. "Great. Give me a stake. I'll kill Damon right now." He was only half joking. Bonnie smiled at the thought of a graying, desiccated Damon kabab.

Sensing this, Damon tensed just slightly. "Easy, Van Helsing. We'll get you one," he said, sizing up Jeremy subconsciously. "Don't worry." He turned away to call Stefan.

Bonnie handed the file to Jeremy. "Before you do this, you need to know what you're getting yourself into." Her run-in with the spirits made her feel even more strongly that she didn't want to see more innocent people get caught in the crossfire of this whole mess, and she knew she couldn't trust the vampire in the room to help see that through.


End file.
